Hillary Clinton in India

Huh.
Badly spelled, with practically no analysis, but he may just be right.

6.Americans understand India better than they understand Pakistan and its jihadi hordes. Pakistanis understand the US better than Indians.

7.Hype and flattery will be the defining characteristics of her visit. Indian ego will remain tickled for some months.

But I'm glad she's able to make the trip, even with feminist elbow and all (btw, check out her new 'blinged sling')

Shattering Glass ceilings? First woman ever to...

...be court martialed by the Indian Army?

Army court-martials its first woman officer
For the first time in the Indian Army’s history, a military court on Saturday ordered the court martial of a woman officer for disobeying orders, levelling false allegations against her superiors and communicating service matters to the media.

Captain Poonam Kaur had accused three officers, including her commanding officer and second-in-command, of sexually harassing her last year. She was then serving with an ASC (Army Service Corps Battalion) at Kalka near Chandigarh.

....

A court of inquiry conducted before the court martial had slapped 21 charges on Captain Kaur — whose father is a retired army havaldar —of which 11 were dropped, as there was no evidence to substantiate them.

The charges levelled against her included wrongfully getting married accommodation allotted and having an improper relationship with her driver.

I'm not defending either Captain Kaur or the Indian Army - I don't have enough information, and I'm not interested in fighting that battle. A charge of physical abuse, sexual harassment and/or rape is a career stopper (not very often, of course: Phaneesh Murty, K P S Gill, Sanjay Khan, Virendra Kumar Dohare) - but a false charge is not just unfair, it also reduces the credibility of many, many true charges and causes plenty of harm to everyone involved. And I'm of the school of thought that true gender or racial or communal equality is not just equal opportunity to success, but also equal leeway to be bad, to fail, to irritate, to upset those around them. We'll know women are equal to men not just when the # of women CEOs are equal to the # of male CEOs, but when the average woman is as much at ease to go against the grain as the average man is, when the punishment is commensurate with the crime and not with the gender.

It's just unfortunate that the first woman to have broken this glass ceiling, to be court martialed and sacked from the Indian army was done so regarding a complaint of sexual harassment by her Commanding Officer. It's very, very hard as it is for women anywhere in the world to speak up about sexual harassment (when the perpetrators are friends or acquaintances, the rapes go unreported 61 percent of the time - this is in the US), even harder for Indian women, and those in and around Punjab have to deal with the additional Punju male 'pride & ego' (a survey done in the state of Punjab a few years ago found that for every rape reported, a humongous SIXTY-EIGHT go unreported), and for anyone in a job, especially in the army to speak up against their own boss, even in a trivial case, is so difficult as to be impossible (example in case: yours truly!). When the victims get the courage and resources and huge support system required to fight such cases and go public, invariably there are plenty other issues - e.g. media silencing, a media trial on the woman's character, and sometimes, incredibly stupid, out-of-touch judges ("a judge summoned a nurse who was raped, her one eye gouged out, in Shanti Mukund Hospital in the heart of Delhi by a hospital employee. The judge wanted the woman to answer a strange request by the rapist: would she marry him, as now, presumably, nobody else would").

The second issue here is the problem inherent in all military, jingoistic groups. Armies around the world demand absolute control over their employees. Military personnel and processes are used to expected to give absolute, unquestioning obedience. This is understandable at some level, because they do want their soldiers to die for a cause, and you can't have last-minute thoughts and backtracking and discussions and challenges in a battlefield. However, this sets up everyone inside for abuse and isolation of the worst kind (e.g. Lavena Johnson, tons of other cover ups of rapes and murders, and why soldiers rape) . Add to that the whole culture of 'looking out for each other', and 'having your brother officer's back', which somehow translates to defending the brother that did the raping & the harassment rather than protecting the sister that was raped and/or harassed (if you have the stomach for it, read this story about Houston firewomen targeted in a hate campaign - major trigger warnings). And top it all with the weird defensive argument that if you complain about something the army or your President is doing, you're somehow unpatriotic and don't care for your country (see: Dixie Chicks). That last one is seriously f***ed up, because by making sure the army is functioning as it should, you're actually strengthening it.

Given such a context, it's really really sad that Captain Poonam Kaur's case has been resolved so badly. It only further stops other women from speaking out when in bad, dire need, and closes out the options of half of the world's population from living and working productively.

Cool FAIL by Burger King - again

Russ Klein evidently spent his childhood ringing the doorbells of neighbors and running away and got caught plenty. Or John Chidsey, CEO of Burger King, had friends who did that, and he never got the guts to do so himself, so he's making up for it now (no surprises here, apparently: "We want to stay on the cutting edge of pop culture," says CEO John Chidsey, 44, whose office is lined with photos of himself with celebrities from Sheryl Crow to Tiger Woods.).

First off, you can't be entirely cool-based if you're aiming to be a high market share brand selling at a low price point for your category. That's way too many things at once for too many people.
And second, One can be 'kewl' or edgy without falling off the edge entirely, really. Someone please show this awesomely written article to Burger King, stat:

Burger King's MO: Offend, Earn Media, Apologize, Repeat

CHICAGO (AdAge.com) -- How's this for a global marketing strategy? Each month target a different international market with an ad that offends some segment of the population, then, after earning a lot of media attention, apologize and pull the ad.

That's the pattern of offense Burger King has established in the past few months. Most recently, the fast feeder had cultural and religious groups screaming today in the latest installment of what has become a series of monthly melees. A few hours after an ABC News reported that ads in Spain depicted the Hindu goddess Lakshmi atop a ham sandwich -- with the caption "a snack that is sacred" -- Burger King announced that it would pull the ads. Many Hindus are, of course, vegetarian.

According to the statement: "Burger King Corporation values and respects all of its guests as well as the communities we serve. This in-store advertisement was running to support a limited-time-only local promotion for three restaurants in Spain and was not intended to offend anyone. Out of respect for the Hindu community, the in-store advertisement has been removed from the restaurants."

...

This has all become familiar. In April, Burger King pulled and said it would revise a European TV spot for its Texican Whopper that had proved offensive to Hispanics. In it a small, masked wrestler draped in a Mexican flag was carried around by a tall gent in jeans and a cowboy hat. Parents expressed dismay in the chain's online promotion of "Star Trek" in May, in which the chain's iconic King character kicked a succession of people in the crotch. Last month brought "The 7-incher," a promotion in Singapore for a long, fat burger that was sure to "blow your mind away." A woman's head with an awed, open mouth accompanied the picture of the sandwich.

Emphasis mine above. So they did put out and them withdraw the ads that were offensive to Hindus and to Hispanics. Good for that. Of course, they never withdrew the advertisements that were offensive to women (Pshaw! Our 'superfan' is 18-34 MALE, y'know!) - e.g. the woman's head ad (also called the 'blow-up doll' ad: here), or the pedophilic Spongebob Squarepants ad (here).

My issue here is not just that the advertising is provocative, or that it's really insulting - my bigger problem here is that the advertising is SO pointless! It's (A) bad, (B) ineffective advertising that is (C) NOT built around a solid insight and (D) does not communicate any real benefit. The (E) drama is all misplaced, and the (F) branding is really non-existent. Finally, (G) there's really poor benefit vizualization - and the (H) execution is poor - the food looks unappetizing!

Any one of the eight strikes above, and at P&G - or where I work now - we'd've been forced back to the drawing board. I can just imagine the Burger King ads being shown at a advertising workshop as an example of 'how to spend Millions of $$ and not communicate effectively'.

Look at the Spongebob ad, for instance - at the end of 30 seconds all you remember are square butts on little girls, and a sick Spongebob going around measuring the girls with a measuring tape. They're not advertising a square burger, or a larger burger (to explain the tape) - they're advertising their version of the Happy Meal. There's no logical link (unless it was a convoluted pun on measuring tape = ruler = king = Burger King. Really?). I didn't even recall that it was a Burger King ad until I went to register my outrage.

Or the Lakshmi ad mentioned above - how is a 'sacred snack' a meaningful consumer benefit or drawn on an insight? Do you eat more of a sacred snack than one that's not? Do you plan for it and schedule your day around it, like you would for a religious event (uhm, isn't it supposed to be fast food)? And if you HAD to go with that benefit, isn't there a more effective, relatable way to depict 'sacred' to Spaniards than via Lakshmi? If you wanted to show a new Asian line, or spicy food, or new exotic items, I can imagine this kind of an image making some convoluted sense to a small-town, unsophisticated, untraveled creative director. But a Hindu goddess to sell a hamburger? Massive FAIL.

It's gotten so bad I can't be bothered to put out an action alert - I can just sit here and laugh my ass off at these idiots working in the 'Miami-based Burger King'

Kambakkht @#!@$#@$#

Mr. Rajiv Hari Om Bhatia, Hon'ble Smt Pratibha Patil called. She wants the Padma Shri back.

Is Akshay Kumar gunning to be India's Judd Apatow? In which case, why is India's Angelina Jolie wannabe (*cough* Posh Spice wannabe *cough*) acting in his movies again?

And who's going to break it to either of them - and to the rest of bollywood - that feminist != man hater and/or frigid? (Please, even Hollywood's gone beyond. Not!)

Of course, they'd've happily gone onto feminist = ugly, hairy, old, etc...but arre, phir piktchar kaun dekhega yaar? Hence.

Yes, Kambakkht Ishq sounds like one sick, stupid, and (worse) utterly boring flick (No, I haven't seen it. No, I don't intend to. Yes, I review films I haven't seen). The first weekend after a three month movie strike in Bollywood (except for New York, which was released a couple weeks ago) is probably the only time it would've got the opening it's got. Also kudos to the people marketing the movie because they made what I thought was an utterly boring trailer, but one apparently not nearly as offensive as the actual movie (unlike some other trailers which picked the worst parts of the movie to showcase).

The saddest part? Apparently Kareena's character goes from blaming her dad for her parents' divorce to realizing that it's all her mom's fault. I just hope to the Good Lord that she doesn't subject her own mother to this appalling movie and its sleazy sub-text.

UPDATE: Apparently great minds do think alike.

Privacy, pizza and politics

So I ran into this the other day on the ACLU website, an old joke about how, a few years down the line, you'll want to do something tiny and supposedly inconspicuous like, order a pizza, and the person on the other end will have access to everything about you, including your favorite types of pizza, your love life, your credit history, your tax filing status, your health records, etc. etc. If you haven't already seen/read this, go read.

But the fun part is, the last timeI'd seen this I'd seen it in a right-wing site (don't remember which). Funny how one person's poison is everyone's poison, too.

ACLU likes this because it effectively paints a doomsday scenario for when 'Government controls and records everything'.
The right wing loves this because it shows what could happen if the 'Government controls and records everything'.
My problem here, and that, I imagine, of the average immigrant, legal or not, is that the '(US) Government controls and records everything'.

Of course, if this were to be shown to the average Indian college kid, I'm sure (s)he would wonder how soon (s)he could get a job in that call center.
The smart Indian college kid would start writing the scripts to link the databases and make this a reality.
The smarter Indian college kid would wonder how to get the contract from pizza companies/the US government to implement this software.
And the smartest Indian college kid immediately would get into regional Indian politics, start a party and loudly decry 'Evil Western Culture' that limits such great technology to pizzas and doesnt open it up to roti-subzi in dhabhas, win the election and make sure hir own records were off-limits to the database.

Google endorses sexism

If you haven't already read Dr Violet Socks' amazing new post, go read here. It's got 300+ comments last I checked, and seems to be an online clearing house for everyone, on the left or right, Dem or Republican, male or female, who's disgusted by the stupidity of the reactions 'provoked by' Sarah Palin for some reason.

And then if your stomach can still take it, go here. What, you say - it's a Google blog, for Chrissakes. The Official Google Blog. Pretty neutral, considering Google rules the Internet and, by extension, the world. What may that have to do with the topic on hand?

Well, to the right of the main post is a section of 'what's hot' - not necessarily the most popular sites on the Intertubez, but the 'kewlest' ones that Google recommends. At the moment, the third one there is this: Deadspin's Diagramming Sarah Palin's "Full-Court Press" Metaphor...with comments such as -

TimCouchFanatic Where exactly on that diagram does Eminem nail her?

Matt Sussman 2:15 PM Sarah passes the ball to Trig, open for three ... YES! From Down's town!

NordoftheBlings 2:16 PM Calipari coached Levi on how to use Dribble Drive Penetration to beat the Palin Press.

TT-Zop Shouldn't Trig Palin be bigger since he has an extra...

Chuck Knoblockhead 2:35 PM I think we should be more concerned with diaphragming Bristol Palin.

Brando 3:57 PM Those thigh-high boots of hers are really going to scuff up the court.

What is it about the woman that encourages utterly demented behavior? Why do people think they can get away with incessantly insulting her, her sexuality, her very existence? What insecurities in these idiots compel them to forget humanity, forget civilization, forget brains - if they had any in the first place?

Either way, good to see that Google, that which Does No Evil, endorses violence against women, sexual harassment and violence against special needs' children, not to mention endorses sheer stupidity.

Welcome to our new overlords.